5 Years Ago

I came across a screenshot where someone asked their audience (on tumblr or reddit or something) “Explain your current situation to your 5-years-ago self.” And it got me thinking about what’s happened between now and then.

Today, Seth, you used knowledge obtained during the study for your degree to help get your beautiful daughter to keep sleeping so that your strong wife wouldn’t be tempted to wake up and help you. And you went to go write on your website.

Yesterday was the first full day that your daughter was in the world, and you already knew the difference between a lonely cry and a “no, dad – something is actually wrong” cry.

Two days ago you witnessed actively helped your wife deliver your daughter – overcoming the hardest physical challenge that she has ever performed, undergoing so much stress and displaying so much active pain that other people in the room nearly fainted.

One week ago you went to bed, once again wondering when the wait for your daughter would be over.

A week and a half ago you visited a friend in the hospital – one who made the decision to undergo a very risky operation and could die on the table. You were a source of strength and comfort. You were amazed that someone less than one year older than you is mortal, much less about to die. (Note: she survived, but is still not well)

Two weeks ago you led a bible study – it didn’t turn out great, but the fact that you did at all was an accomplishment.

One month ago you had a couple who have an active 4-year old and 1.5 year old to stay at your small home on a weekend that you knew lots of family and friends would be demanding your time.

Six months ago you finally publicly announced that you and your wife were pregnant, while at the same time announcing that you have a personal website in development.

Eight months ago your wife told you that you are going to have a child.

Ten months ago your wife was finally cleared of her gastro-intestinal issues.

One year ago you started working on your website.

One and a half years ago, you moved in to you current apartment with your wife – marking the first serious change in your living condition since you got married to her.

Almost Two years ago you started a temporary position pushing paper that turned in to a serious job with benefits and paid time off.

Two and a half years ago you ended your search for a job. And you started of a series of jobs that you didn’t hold for total bullshit reasons.

Roughly three years ago you shoved your head so far up your ass that you couldn’t see the light of day, managing to break trust with some of the most important people in your life, in such a serious way that (for example) other people at your bible study couldn’t even rely on you to contribute meaningfully to the conversation, much less lead. This particular series of events messed with your head so badly that it also ruined your ability to properly fit memories next to each other in meaningful ways, so it might not be 3 years ago.

about three and a half years ago you finished your degree and started a search for a Real Job. Which was wildly unsuccessful.

Four years ago you married Amanda.

Five years ago you decided to marry Amanda, and followed that up by asking her father for permission.

Five years ago you were working part-time at Panera, attending a college that you weren’t 100% sure about how you were going to pay off, dating a woman who enjoyed NiN more than flowers, and generally not making much of yourself.

Five years ago is March 18th, 2010, and all of this is going to happen to you, and right now you are writing about it, on your own website, in your own apartment, 20 feet away from where your wife is feeding your child.

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