My Life is Frustrating. But Only a Little.

I am posting this right before I post another, more RPG-nerdy post. I am doing this because I think that this website is not about my life – it is about a life that I share with the geeky community. Very little of this post relates directly to the nerds, so I am intentionally burying it in the archives. I am including it anyways because I want people to be able to see what was going on in my life as I was getting this website off the ground.
So, I am now (3^3)+1 years old.

Some of this is going to go into a chapter in the book that I talked about.

I thought at this point that I would be married, have a kid, have a low-level job in a career that I wanted to devote my life to, and be making enough money that the panic of ‘oh god rent’ will be only be a hold-over emotional artifact from my youthful college days.

Apparently, that is not so. The only one on that list that I actually have is a Wife, and she is great. I work in an industry I have zero interest in. One of our cars just blew a head gasket and we have to buy a new (cheap) car, – which means that rent is still a thing to be worried about.

Because money is tight, I am less able to pay for the things that would make this website a complete whole. Specifically, I don’t think that it is wise to pay for the level of media hosting that my overall plan was calling for (the $15/month level would allow me to do multiple Apprentice Game Master episodes every week and once-every-other for both Apprentice StoryTeller and Nerd’s Apprentice). Seriously – I cannot reasonably pay the very reasonable price of $15/month.

I can tell you why I cannot afford it. The specifics are not important – the car dying, the medical issues that Amanda and I dealt with recently, school loan payments, cars dying again, friends or family that desperately need help – all of these and more ate my budget, each to different degrees.

But it seems to me that I should still be able to afford $15/month. It is very discouraging that I cannot (responsibly) do that. It makes me less motivated to improve the website – the launch is pushed back even further, why do I need to deal with that right now? It makes me less motivated to record more audio – I have a big pile of unedited stuff just waiting for me – why would I make that pile bigger? It makes me less motivated to go edit the stuff I do have – I cannot release it in a responsible way to the public – why make a tool I cannot use? It makes me mentally constipated – I have all this stuff I cannot get done, but all this stuff has to just sit there and all get in the way of each other.

If you know of a way to get free media hosting at LibSyn (or BluBrry, I suppose) for longer than a month or two, let me know. I will not use media host that does not make real promises about ownership, advertising, etc. to their customers.

If you know of a way to make a bunch of money fall out of the air into my lap, let me know. I am an Amazon Associate, but I cannot really do a lot with that until I get more traffic, and my traffic cannot increase until I well and truly launch, and I cannot launch until I get media hosting.


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